too many thought.

Whenever I get into some kind of situation, which really does hurt my feelings, I tend to just admit I'm wrong no matter what, and just you know let it go, to make the other party shut up.
Basically, shut the fuck up.

But lately, I've not been taking the blame for everything, because I am really sick of it. I argue back. But that like one, or two reply and boom, i just give up. Cause I really don't find a point, having arguments that makes all of us look so shallow. I mean if we were to just accept how others are, we wouldn't have an issue to argue about.
gThat last sentence, note to self.

For me, arguing, is very normal. I mean it shows that we are normal and we have emotions. We do feel raged, sad, frustrated with a lot of things. And at the end of the, its not about wining a situation no matter how much it hurts your feeling. At the end of the day, what matters, is how you get out of this oh-so-not positive feeling.

How you make yourself and the other part, feel better and not ending it with saying hurtful things.
That is what matters, at least for me. 

I've never gotten in an argument wanting to win. As far as I remember. Never. I don't care if I lose the argument. I just don't want to hurt anyone no matter how raged I am inside.
I look onto no living things when I am angry. I really do. And one of it, is writing. I write when I don't feel good. Wait. Thinking about it, I write, no matter what my feelings is. Be it, happy, sad, anger, frustration.
I just write my freaking mind out. 

There are many things that I would do, or say. It maybe something I though of long time ago or many not. But its just what I feel like the current moment. And that might not be what I am gonna do for the rest of my life. Maybe yea, I would.

There's just nothing permanent to just do good all the time. 

At the end of the day, do you really know what your heart desires. I mean do you? I don't. Because this very moment, I am falling sick and wasting my time in Starbucks. Like I don't know what I am gonna get out of it, but I just wanna stay out and not go home. Even if I go home, it would be the same.
You see, I don't even know where I am going with my last sentence.

I mean, at the end of the day, do we really know what our heart desires.
Right now, for me.
 A very hot and intimate make out session with someone I don't have feelings for. :p

Maybe when I am a little older, that is not I want.
For me, I feel like, theres nothing permanent.

Because no matter, what i do or who i hold onto, they always leave. They do. At one point. And the fear of people leaving me, is killing me slowly inside.