I'll fight.

When I was younger, I never imagined a morning better than the morning I am having now.
7am, the sun is about just to rise, pancakes, maple syrup, amazing strong black coffee and my blog. Writing. You know, theres nothing else I wish for. I mean I really hope I have morning like this, always. Okay and maybe looking at this elderly man, seems like they are having their daily routine of having breakfast and also the TV. Hockey match. This early. :)

Moving on, last night. I had one of the worst breakdowns ever. I mean it was such a huge meltdown. Painful and horrifying. I am not kidding about the horrifying part of last night. I texted four friends. And I had not one reply. Am I mad? Definitely no. I am not. I sometime understand that I am too much too handle. I don't blame them. Even Adam ignored me last night. I don't blame him too, its his birthday. The last thing he wants is to drown with me in my horrifying night.

Not forgetting the fact that my immune system decides to fail on me. I had fever, flu and sore throat. And I cried till my face hurt so bad, I just wanted to ..., I didn't know what to do be honest.
During that period of time, I realize and I told myself,

There is nothing you can do at this wee hour. 
You need to pull yourself back together and do what you know you have too. 
Crying is not gonna make someone appear magically in front of your house.
Crying is not gonna make your mum sleep with you through the night. 
Nope, nothing is gonna come.
This is reality, pull yourself back together 
or else 
you are just gonna go through this massive pain on your freaking face.

And at the period of time too, I realize that no matter how many friends you have. At one point we all have our own thing to do. That time I knew, no matter how much you love a person, be it a family or a friend, you will definitely gonna get hurt.
I am not hurt with the fact that four of my friends didn't reply my text or what so ever. But I was hurt about what a person that I loved the most, would chose me over her friend. Whereas there I was, that I was sure no matter what happens, I will always be there for her, because I love her, and I care for her. And she is my family.

Now its just all stuck with doubt, about what is it gonna be like in the future.

Bright side, I manage to knock sense into my own head, that I need to pull myself back together because my body don't deserve the pain my heart feels, cause till now, my body has never failed on me. Except for now, being sick and all. I mean thats normal, the body needs a break.

I keep on telling myself, reminding again and again that nothing is gonna break me apart, nothing can. Even if my own best friend wants to prove to the world that she has better friends than me. I really don't care because I am gonna make sure that, that shit doesn't break me apart.
And I am gonna be strong no matter what comes around, because I need and will always pull myself together.

Despite the storm, there are beautiful things, that life has to offer which I would definitely wanna see.
And I am not gonna put a stop to this battle no matter what comes around.
I may fall apart, but honey.
I will definitely get myself up.

No matter what we breed, 
We are still made of greed. 

- Demons, Imagine Dragons.