not care to care.

To care or to not care at all. 

There's like so much going on, I need a break. Okay I always say that but the truth I never give myself a break.  

 What is this about you wanting to hurt me so bad. It's good enough that the post hurt my feeling so much, it would be so much better me finding out myself than you pressing on the fact that you updated a rant post on tumblr just for me. 

And to come up to you, if I don't understand what you were trying to say. 

 Because when I write a rant post, about anyone, even for my best friend, the  thing that I would do is not tell my own friend that I am ranting about him/her.
I don't know why you are doing this. Like why, if you don't like about what I think, move on.

 I've tried to force a fact that I agreed on too the world but I failed, and now I've learnt that if you believe in something others don't, let it be. You know where you stand and where does your friend stands.  

 Why do you want to make it look that, you are always right and what I believe in is always wrong. Why do you wanna make others feel like they are living in their own idiotic world. 
Okay maybe that is not what you are trying to prove.
I write. You write. The world writes. And no one does go to the person they are writing about and tell them that they wrote a rant post for them. 

No one does it. 

It's shallow. 

Because you are not using the purpose of this whole writing thing as what the purpose was intended. I just feel that you should have come clean about it to me. You met me today. And you should have told me, then writing it over tumblr and sending me a Whatsapp asking me to read it. 

Who would ever do that. 
I read your post. Over and over and over and over again. You have no idea how mad I am right now. I just kept on reading it again and again and thinking how could you say such thing. Those words would be normal for you, but for me, no. I would never do all that and at the end. Say I still love you to bits and pieces because its not right. No one would ever do that.

What made you think doing all this will mAke me feel better. How ? Ending the whole thing with I love you would make me feel better. Saying everything so sarcasticAlly at the beginning makes no difference with the degree of sarcasm in your "I Love You"

Am I sorry? I am. I really am.
Am I mad? I'm so mad that I can just murder someone right now.
Not at you but myself. So mad at myself for caring so much for you. You know. You make me lose faith in many things. Especially my friends because now I don't know whether everyone would be just like you. Or not. I'm doubting on many things that I shouldn't. That I should never think off.

Why don't you just accept us for who we are. For not believing in what you believe in. And for being that total assholes who just care of the world. The thing about me is that, I sin. More than you. I know I do. I hurt people feelings, and I know I am selfish. But I know what my priorities are. And how could you doubt the fact when I told you mum how much my family means to me. How could you. As my best friend, I thought you knew how much all this affects me. And what matters to me. As my best friend, like I thought you would know, but you proved me wrong. 

We do have out misunderstanding. We do. Which friend doesn't, but this time around, I'm not just gonna agree to  disagree to not have this issue with you. I am gonna just be like this, so that you realize how much everything you did, is affecting me, for the pass 18 hours. 

You being you, might not care at all, or just might. But I don't know. I don't how is all this gonna end, 

I am telling this now, that I am not gonna put any effort in making things better, because I am really hurt.

I sometimes just love Rhys.

Me : Tell me someone who means so much to you?

Rhys : *thinks deeply* umm, you 

Me : Errr okay. Bahahahahahaha, Okay. So imagine, ......

*the conversation goes on*

Rhys just knows how to make my day, make me feel bad, and keep quiet when he have too so that I can just let my mind spread in front of him. 

And I thank you for that. 

xx