Insecure

I've never left. I do check this scribbles of mine. It's just that when realize that people just put what ever noted down here under a microscope. I pretty much feel insecure that people care so much about what i through. I just feel that its my wish what I wanna do and live this life the way I want. That is what I always believed in. I don't want anyone coming making me feel so insecure Insecure. That's how I've been feeling always. About everything. I feel insecure when I speak to a person. I feel insecure that at time with everything I do. People think its not good enough. Definitely feel insecure about my body. Insecure about meeting new people. Then I realize I even feel insecure of taking someone picture. Too much to handle is what I call it right now. My insecureness level is like 99 right now. But I still pretend that I'm okay with everything but deep Down it kills. I know I can't feel like this forever. I even feel very insecure when I'm training with my trainer. And he is like my best friend. I don't know why I feel so insecure when I see him. Is it cause everything I have for him or is it just the fact that he cares so much for me and I feel that I can't be what he wants and I'm gonna disappoint him if I can't see results in losing weight. Or is it that he touched my heart with the fact that he cares so much. Caring too much can sometimes be a good thing and a bad thing. The bad thing for caring too much has a another word, stalking. So yeah. I know who stalks me and who doesn't and who genuinely care. The fact that my ex stalks me throughy friends Facebook profile make him conclude that he just care a lot for me and he wants to know how am I. So he stalks me. And the fact that my trainer cares too much is cause he wants me to get what I want and be healthy and be the person I always wanted to be. Irony. I know. An I have this really mixed up feeling cause they car so much. Winnie the Pooh once said Some people sometimes care too much, I think it's called Love