Well he was frustrated that he had to do a lot of things that he does which is not happy doing it and thus he seemed pretty annoyed about.
I realize that people tend to depend on him too much and look up to him and i believe that he makes him very unhappy because he know what he does is not something anyone should look up too. Thats what he thinks but however we cannot just change peoples perspective towards him. thus he is pretty much helpless. And one thing i realize about him is that he tend to say 'no' even before trying it and he say he tried everything to do everything willingly and then i realize, he actually tried but it just doesn't work.
As usual, I was driving home after meeting him and i was just thinking. why at times, its just so hard to difficult to do something willingly. Well its different based on how you look at it.
I was thinking why we don't do something that we are told willingly. Is it because of laziness.? Umm i think its not. Ignore me if I'm wrong but this is what i think.
We tend to not do what we are told too because we realize that we are just doing without getting anything back. we realize that we don't gain anything out of it. If you were born as a self centered person, i believe this is why we tend to not do it because we realize that we are not gaining anything out of it.
If we were to offer 10 bucks every time we go to the post office for someone. we tend to actually do it because we know we are gaining something out of it. come on 10 bucks for every time i go to the bank for the bank. i would totally call my mum everyday to ask her if i had to go to the bank every single day.
Well, its not only that, its the environment we live in. I am 20 years old. and when you know your twenty, we see that everyone in my age group tend to have fun and go wild and screw up and make mistake and basically just live life. and then again, your this twenty years old who has commitments, responsibilities. where screwing up maybe involve the matter of life and death. and we tend to think that we are suppose to have fun and because of this we literally feel old
i know no one wants to feel old.
Well this happens to me also, that sometimes, i just ignore calls from my mum. because i just feel so frustrated with the fact that i have to do things for her. but most of the time i do, because i know that my mum is really really busy and she needs help and i have a younger brother who only plays and an elder sister who has a own life to take care off. So i tend to help my mum because i know she needs help and it reduces her burden.
my mentality is : off all she did for me, making me who i am today. this is the least i could do to repay her.
but then sometimes i get annoyed myself.
we are just growing up and we wanna have fun. and not responsibilities. eventually we will know which comes first and which comes last. :) now just do what you feel like doing. even if its screwing up.
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