trust

Do that,
Do this,

Why would I wanna do it.

Have you ever been in this situation where your friends ask you something that you dont wanna do ?

Ive been talking this one really old friend of mine. I knew him when i was 14 and sadly he was someone in my life once. someone that i planned my future with. okay no flashback as it hurts

so we have started communicating again. after a year. we had this on and off thing where we have a really huge argument and realize that we tend to not talk to each other for like a year and then talk again. ah this has been going on for the pass 6 years, oh yes, started when i was 13 ish 14.

last night i was talking to him and he realized that i changed alot and i am more secretive now. he pretty much feel very offended that i dont tell him my secrets anymore as its never easy for me to trust anyone except rhys and kishya and mum.

so when he ask me stuff like why im not happy and i tend to just ignore it and one day i told him that

people change
and i changed in many ways.
nothing that i can be proud off.
nothing i do that i can actually tell you
because it will definitely be like putting me down.

since i told him this line he was like what is your secret. why you not telling me. you use to share everything with me.
i was pretty or i would say very angry and annoyed that he asking me to do something that i dont wanna do.
its just that trust i have. i just dont trust him like how i use too because this pass 6 years, the times he left me hanging. and knowing me. its never easy for me to just trust someone. you have to gain it if you want me to trust you. ahh i know to much to ask .

so last night he called and the bugging continued. am i was really annoyed this time and i asked one simple question .

If your good friend were to ask you to do something that you would not do. would you still do it because he is your friend.

His answer was. I have gone through good times and bad times with my friends. good times was pretty normal, but when i had gone through the bad phase, i realize that i have friends who would cry for me and make sure that i am alright. and so if they were to ask me to do something that i dont like doing. i would definitely do it to make my friend happy.

My explanation was, Well i do have goos friends who i believe that will be there for me no matter what happens. Same good times or bad times. a phone call is all it takes for me to meet them. and i may not have 20 good friends like you. i have only two and they are very special to me and someone i will definitely never want to lose. And there are many reason for them to be my good friend. because they know about me more that i sometimes know about myself. and i believe that they will never even consider asking me to do something that they know i wont do. and that the difference between you bunch of friends and my amazing two soul.

And after telling him this. he realize how all their actions when i was younger affected me now.

And its not about having millions of friends. you can just have that one person that you know will be there for you when you need a shoulder.