nonstop tears

young girl don't cry,
ill be right here when your
world starts to fall
- christine aguilera

well, that what i know my mum would tell me.

I've been on whole load of shit in just two days. where a friend of mine really hurt my feelings by being super cold to me. and the fact that I'm invisible when my sister is there has definitely put me through whole load shit.

that I'm so angry at everything that i wish i had a riffle that will give me the authority to shoot everyone in front of me.

i was thinking today while waiting for my car to be washed and service, does people really tend to hurt you and i realize it actually depends on that person itself.

for instant, my friend, when i approached him he was really cold, well i guess he wanted to just really hurt my feelings without even asking me why i did that.

i don't really understand why that a person is so shallow that they tend to react even knowing the truth. sometimes, i do that too, but i tend to ask that person about it and make myself clear before judging on anything. especially judging based on my thoughts about it.

and i believe some people are really self centered that they only care about themselves. and don't remember that there are like 123456789 people around them who has feelings too. whats the point of being self centered, you care about yourself so much and not the one around you and soon you realize, theres no one by you. or you might not even care because everything is you.

well i don't know why. i tend to get over the fact that i was hurt by you within seconds. but today was the first time i feel like my walls are just breaking. i don't know why i cried the whole night and fall asleep while crying. i don't know why that I'm really hurt, that now one part of me is telling me to hate you and the other is asking me to forgive you.

i really don't know what to do because i just feel that I'm very alone in this cold world.

the only person i need now is my mum. I'm literally crying whenever she calls me. and i don't know why.