thank you.

I know I've been down this pass week as I find everything is so mind boggling. And I force myself to not eat and to not talk to anyone. i even find the people im close too annoying. and im sorry. i really am. im trying so much to feel better. but deep down i feel like something is just not allowing me to do it.

I am being very positive about everything. I am trying very very hard just to feel better. Im going for class. Im being around my classmates. And still meeting my classmates and bestfriends. But everything that everyone does is very annoying. That i just dont wanna be around people. I really dont. And I dont wanna be alone also, so, i cant really find a situation where i can just be or feel okay. around people and without people.

pretty fucked up i call it. and ive been trying really hard to talk to my mum because i am really afraid on how she is gonne react towards this situation. and i was like this before when i was 7 . and i put through my parents alot. and now im feeling so guilty with the fact that i didnt take care of myself to put me in this condition.

people are trying to communicate with me and im trying to push them away. and im sorry again. and  thank you for caring about me. really thanks. and sometimes. i just wanna go home. like go for class. just get through the day with a smile and then go home and just sleep or if no one is at home. then i go out to watch tv.

i promise that im gonna force myself to feel alright. im sick of being like this all this while.

and moving on.

this weekend . sunway's psychology school is having a prom and Kishya and Jessica is apart of the organisers. and Rhys, the man is performing that night. I thought of not going for it because i thought of saving money, but heck. These people was always there for me and Rhys, always. So im gonna go for it and support him throughout. the least i could do. its not that he is gonna be nervous or anything but as a friend, i wanna be there with him, going through it.

then when we are old. we can sit back and talk about it.

these are the people who make me to always feel better and im very glad and i thank god everyday for people like them.

without them, even i cant imagine on where i will be today.

so im gonna thank them. i think it would not suffice if i thank them everyday.