Yes, the word LOVE. I don't think its only me that always wandered around the world searching for love.
I think we all do. I just wonder, why we really wanna be in love. Why can't we push this feeling away like how we push sadness away from life.
I gotta admit, I can be this girl that understand barely nothing. I wonder about everything. Isn't being in love with someone painful. Which part of being in it gives us happiness. It's just that we feel insecure about everything like " Does he deserve me" & "Do I deserve someone like him or someone better" or even " Does he/she love me like how I am loving them right now"
Something about it, we have always second thought. I'm not sure you do, but i'm sure that I do. Sitting and wondering about it, and wondering about how much you lovedthis one person and all you get back is like the moment now, sitting in a cubicle thinking it and getting this tingly piercing through your heart feeling.
I am feeling really mellow since I let you go and walk away in front of me. And this little thing i call ego has always been my best friend. I tried changing, but I failed. And now, even I don't remember why i really love/like you. Even that I'm not sure.
I just feel that being in love is not worth it because I know when I'm in love with someone I give them everything but I still have doubt on how much they love me. I know I'm the problem. But I think being the problem makes you the unique one and there would be someone who will love you for who you are. But sigh, this love is making me confuse right now.
Its such a painful and confusing feeling. Nothing brings happiness and nothing last forever including love.
Then wondered again, what about my parents? Not love?
Still confused.
Ashwi (:
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