There are a lot one does not know about you. There are some who thinks they know enough but actually they don't. There are some who knows about you but not care about you at all. Then you have those who does not know anything, but tend to think they know all.
Which one of these are you, when it comes to my life. Do you think that as someone that falls in any of the category above?
Well, I'm not here to tell everyone that they don't know me. Actually there are some who does know bits & pieces of my life, and they have been there. I know no one reads this, but I just need a white sheet now to spread out my brains.
Everyone says, first impression is the most important impression ever. But I tell myself that first impression is not everything. I believe in change. I believe change can be good and change can be bad. Changing for the good, doesn't make justice to the first impressions anymore. And changing to bad, does the same too. The reflection you had when you first saw a person, changed. Like from a thief to a volunteer or from a volunteer to a thief.
I know many that lives by that first impression. "You should give your best first impression", how does this give room for someone to change, for them to grow out and be someone better, because they gave you the best they had on the first day and now there is no such thing as bestest after best.
Let yourself to see the imperfections of a person, let them screw up and learn, let them fall and conquer after, let them live life how they want, because their life doesn't revolve around yours. Their lifespan is not the same as yours. Don't force someone to be who you want them to be.
I get judged everyday that at one point, I just find there is no point to prove to people, what kind of a person I really am. Because they just don't give room for me to show the other side of me. I'm not telling that I have positive days everyday, there are days I just wanna cry due to anger, and there are days, nothing but happiness. I'm sorry if you tap me at the wrong time and I put a rage on you.
I am a person who believes that everyone deserves a second chance, even liars. They do because I believe that one lies because of pressure not because they want too. They lie because they wanna be the best in your eyes. They wanna prove to you that they can do something good and they are not a wasted sperm. I believe that everyone is kind, I believe that giving money to the homeless is not gonna make you any poorer and saving money everyday is not gonna make you rich. I don't believe that wearing expensive clothes makes you pretty. I believe that giving comfortable clothes away to those who doesn't have enough makes you beautiful. I believe that we are all here for a reason, a reason that made Him believe, that its worth for Him to create you and shape you into this person you are now. Its not easy for me to dislike a person and its definitely not easy for me to like a person. I cry. I cry a lot because it makes me feel better. I don't cry to get attention. I don't complain to annoy someone. I feel like complaining because sometimes, I don't wanna bring my pride down in front of a person to tell them that I'm weak. To be honest, I give that look that I am really strong but deep down inside, I cry even when I see someone begging because I am fragile. Really fragile. Being fragile is not good, and to be honest, I don't like they way I am. They way I look, The life I have, because people judge me. For being this girl with money, and being judged for being rich but not being able to own expensive handbags. Expensive handbags are not my thing. My parents, they brought me up, that the most expensive thing I own. No money would worth my family because they are my everything. I am a person that would do anything for my family. Then my friends. I am not a friend to one or two. I have many friends who believe and knows that I will be there for them. One thing that they don't know is that, I am not a person who asks for anything in return. I never do something hoping for anything in return. The only thing I do which I want in return is the things I do for myself like exercising, I wanna lose weight in return, or studying, I want good results in return. I am not a person who judges you based on what you are and what you own. I am never materialistic. I adore a person for what they are inside. For me, trust is everything. I will trust you, I definitely will but at the end of they day, its up to you whether you wanna uphold the trust I have in you or you wanna just let it fall down the drain. I've been humiliated, called names and I've been a thing, like a carpet, that they just walk over, that everyone pushed around, but I wasn't that person who hanged around those people. I made the decision to leave and be independent because I believe everyone should be treated equally no matter how they look on the outside. I took the road on my own. Because I know I deserve to be alone than to be treated like trash. I believe everyone have their own soft side, that makes them a better person. I am someone who thinks that, no one wants to be a bad person, its just that they don't know, what to do because everyone around them, is just pushing them to be someone the society thought they would be. I am included in the "society" and I believe that the"society" can be wrong sometimes too.
No one knows yourself better than you. I believe physical is temporary. Nothing is permanent, unless you want it to be permanent. I believe that you can't change one, you can make them live life the way you want them too. I believe that giving people space, helps them. In many ways. There are nights, I would want to pull a rage on you and there are night I just want you to show me that you care. And there are some nights that I just want you to fuck off. But this is me. What are you gonna get by changing me. You are just gonna lose me. A friend, that you know would be there for you through thick and thin. I just want you to accept everyone for what they are this very moment, with everything because these are the ones that will teach you lesson to go forward in life. They, the unchanged them. Look at them, take one step closer and see someone from a different point of view. You have no idea, how much it would change your world.
love.
a.
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