I'm not a fond believer of this type of relationship. I'm not telling that I don't believe it at all, what I'm tryna say is that, for me. I don't think it would workout.
And this don't mean that, I don't believe in every single LDR out there. There are people who have been proving it that no matter what, even LDR, they can make things work.
I have a few friends who is in a long distance relationship. I don't have anything against this people. I really don't, I'm actually happy that they have the power and confidence to make things work out, unlike me, where I just don't think I could do it.
Recently, a friend, a really good one, just broke up. That he is here but his girlfriend is in Oz, studying. I really look up to him, that he really works hard to make things work. For almost a year. Not a year yet but going to be. I was really happy for him, and people like him, gave me the strength that I could handle a LDR.
No matter how hard was it for them both, they still made time. Because of love. That love they has of each other. And now, what happened, which flight did the feeling took. Another route?
How is this fair to the other individual, that you just lost your feelings. You know what you signed up for when you knew she was leaving. To me, I don't think that a person feelings should just stop, unless something really brutal happened. And if you had a really good reason for your feelings to die, then I understood.
Being away from each other is not easy, letting go of the one you loves just because she is thousands and thousands miles away, is just proving, how much the love you had for her.
If you know that you couldn't handle it, you should have done it in the first place.
For example, my gym friend. He was with his girlfriend for almost a year, and their relationship went up to the fourth level. This means, they have an emotional and physical contact with each other. And one fine day, she had to leave, to the States, to further her studies but this was only for a year. They knew that it would be difficult to make things work for a year or they could bite their teeth for a year and make it work, as he will be busy her with work and she will be busy there with studies. They both knew it won't be fair for each other to be together, and hoping to not cheat on each other, due to the physical contact. It our nature to always want more if we had a taste of it before. They sat and talk for days, cried for nights knowing that they had to go apart and it would be difficult to maintain what they had before and with mutual understanding they split their relationship and it has been almost 10 months now. In two months time, she will be back. He moved on, meeting girls and all because he told her that, it better to no cheat you than be with you and do nonsense here. But he told me, that if she comes back and he is not committed with anyone else, he would definitely want her back, because he believe that everything that happens to him has a pinch of God's grace. Maybe she is the one.
moving on,
I have another friend, a girl. Who is also in a LDR. And she is my really good friend. I had a misunderstanding with her, because I was telling about how a person's feelings can just die, in that way, our parents love to us, would just die any moment. The love we have for them, would disappear too. I was telling her that I don't think that your feelings would just die because you just done putting effort and not gaining anything from a relationship. I guess she really misunderstood where I was coming from. Because i wasn't judging my friend, who just broke up. I was thinking that hey, if you feelings could just go missing, how are you gonna be in a stable relationship. How is that, when you get committed you have to always gain something out of it/ Why don't you make things work because of the love you had for her? the love you had when she was here, everything she ever did for you. You just let her go because now that she is not here, you just can't get anything out of it. What happen to the love she gave you all this while.
My friend took the situation really personal that because she is in a LDR too. I don't have issues with anyone who is in this relationship. At one point of my life, I really look up at here, that she is so strong, that no matter how far he is from her, all the cute stories she tells me made me realize that she is really happy and no matter what, she is falling more and more in love with her. And I even look up to her because she can make this work. And she is in love.
It hurts me, that she thinks I don't believe in her love story. I really believe and people like this give me hope that if I even fall into this relationship, I would look up to her and make her as an example to make things work.
I know that right now, I'm not in a relationship, but that doesn't mean, I don't know anything about being in love and being apart, I've gone through it. And you know everything about me, EVERYTHING. how could say that i don't understand.
Its true that we all have different opinion in love, but thats just how we grew till today.
If I were you, if someone's love is just based on sex, well. I respect that, because thats how you grew and that is what you belief.
Im not saying that I would never ever believe in a long distance relationship, but she and everyone who is in LDR could change my perception one day.
One day, i might get into this sticky situation, and I know, all of you would be a good and bad example.
A.