f.pretend

I am bored. I'm in my Algorithm class. My lecturer, he asked us to bring the laptop, to do some questions during lecture, but he is lecturing. -____________-

moving on,
thank you omma, for getting me a new Macbook Pro, as my last Mac died on me.

Last week, was pretty much a busy week, and I was forcing myself busy to ensure that I am not over-thinking things that I shouldn't over think.

Talking about thinking,
I've told myself that I am not gonna be with anyone, till he get someone. Or I am gonna talk to him about everything and clearing things, to not feel bad later on when I move on. I hope he understands.

We have been talking again, like every night. And I don't think all this is worth its time.

It took A, almost one week to text me. And he did. I only replied one text and I don't know what else to say. I don't know why am I doing this, I was really upset that he didn't text me, but when he did, I was pretty much feelingless and I don't wanna even reply.

I don't know why he is doing all this. And I don't know why, I am doing all this.


I want it, 
then I pretend to not care.


Pretending is this feeling for me, that I am happy when I am around, then I get all emotional when I alone,  you can call it fake.

yes, fake.


Dear A, 
I'm sorry that I know nothing can bring us together, now. 
And now, as much as I want you, that is how much I don't want you.
I know, you know what is important and what is not.
I just wish, I am able to face you.
And talk to you, for us, to feel mutual,
to let go of 
each other.


Love, 
A